oh so close

So technically I should be studying right now, but these thoughts keep floating through my head and I thought I would take a second to put them out there. I have three days until I take the hardest test I could ever imagine taking. I have run the gamut of emotions the past three months. Elation at finally graduating law school. Awe and wonder at the birth of a new niece. Excitement at picking out my wedding dress and deciding on a place to get married. Absolute and complete love everyday I see my fiance. Anxiety at not knowing my future. Fear of failing the bar. Hesitation at moving on with my life. Confusion at not knowing if I want to be a lawyer. Disappointment in not knowing the answers. Grief at seeing myself self destruct when I need to be my strongest. Hopelessness in realizing I can't do it all by myself. Yet I am still alive. I am still breathing. My family still loves me. Aaron still wants to marry me. I have cried till I feel like I can't cry anymore, and yet more tears come. But through it all, I've learned life will go on. I will take this test. I may or may not know the answers. But I will still wake up on Thursday. I will still go shopping with my mom. I will still go to Ohio on Friday and enjoy my weekend at Cedar Point and with Aaron's family. My nephew will still love me. My friends will still talk to me. So on that note, back to writing essays on corporations. Wish me luck!